#They also have to realize how HARD that would be in an Asian country- especially South K

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I am never going to get the motivation to watch squid game 2 but TRANS PERSON REPRESENTATION IN KOREAN MEDIA??? Let's goooo!! I have now genuinely seen that happen TWICE in a kdrama and I would never have even dreamed of being able to say that when I was younger

[dozyisdead]

I’ve never really thought about how lonely it must be to be a “First” until I got into F1. I’d like to explore that a little bit with you guys if you don’t mind.

1. Sir Lewis Hamilton

We all know what makes him a First, but there’s layers to it. Lewis is the First Black driver, First Black point scorer, First Black race winner, First Black championship winner. He is a lot of Firsts, and he’s set and broken so many records, he’s become so decorated. He’s a master of his craft, but that is where it gets lonely. I don’t know if many realize it, but racism is rampant in the world, despite how many will deny it, and it’s very rampant in Europe. Yes, I can’t speak much as an American, but at the same time we do not deny it and try to hide it so vehemently as some of Europe does. And in that world Lewis has talked about being called racial slurs from a young age, when he was still in karting. There’s a specific interview I keep thinking of, and it breaks my heart every time I think of it. Lewis has been set alone from the second he started, and he has never been to blame for it. But him being a First has become so Important, and I know he has people that make it known that he is not alone.

2. Zhou Guanyu

I don’t think people realize this, But Zhou is the first and only Chinese F1 driver to ever race. He has become a pillar of movement in that act, in a way like Lewis. I know there are obvious differences in their positions, but it’s still a monumental feat. We have know that F1 is dominated by Europeans, and yes there have been asian drivers before him, but to be the First for your country? It’s a position filled with pressure and can often be isolating, especially when you take language and culture into consideration. Not only is he one of two Asian drivers on the grid, he’s the only one who speaks his language. And I’m speaking from the perspective of someone who’s learning other languages when I say English is hell to learn. It’s my first language and I do not understand it at all, I can’t imagine how hard it is for someone who’s uses completely different characters like Yuki or Zhou. But Zhou, he is loved, and I wish people would acknowledge the steps he has made as a First, as someone who opened a door for others.

3. Logan Sargeant

The first American on the gird to score points in over 30 years. Yes, there had been other American drivers since Andretti’s 1993 season, Scott Speed and Alexander Rossi, but they did not score points. There’s actually something that I would like to point out regarding one of his predecessors, Mr. Speed, as they both completed a season and a half. But, that’s beside the point. Logan, be the first in a long time, in this century, is a lonely thing. There’s other drivers who I think can attest to that, but I feel like it’s a very unique thing, especially when you come from a place where something like F1 isn’t as big as say NASCAR, or even Indy. It’s a little film of separation that you can feel, no matter if it’s as thin as a spider web.

4. Ralf Schumacher

The First openly homosexual former driver who raced in F1, it’s a beautiful feeling to know he’s become comfortable enough to share it. I can imagine the hell it caused him mentally and emotionally to be in such a position that made it to where every moment could be taken out of context. And I would like to point out the impact he made, by not revealing it until later. The fact that we knew him first as a good driver and not as “the gay man in F1” is so important and people might not understand that. He is a First of ground-shaking proportions, and I sometimes wish we could have known sooner, but I also understand him so well. I’m the first openly queer person in my family, and as the first openly queer person in a partially south asian family, it’s terrifying. I can’t imagine how it would have been for him, in what we call the peak of motorsports, in a sport that has so much distaste for even women participating, if someone who was queer was to try. He has put himself on a pedestal that shows others that it’s okay to exist in that world, not just drive. You, Ralf Schumacher, have done so much more than you can think.

There are MANY more, I know, but those three have stood out to me recently. Everyone has their own little pedestal that they stand on, that shows how unique they are, but there is nothing quite like a First. I have so much love for all of these men, and so much joy and sorrow for them.

Being a First is lonely, I know it well and I have learned it well, but when you are in a sport that gives you no privacy like F1, it becomes even lonelier. They are human, and as other Firsts in our own lives and worlds, we must not forget that.

[thienan1s]

Yandere platonic Dark Cacao alphabet ( A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H ) :

A : 1) Authority: Do they see themselves as above their obsession?

- Yes, he is Dark Choco father, he see himself absolutely above his son and Dark Choco should do obey everything he said. His son is young, stupid and reckless (regardless of whether is the young or old version of Dark Choco. In Dark Cacao's defense, he's 100+ years old, it's hard not to see your son as a child) and he is his father, he always know and do best for him.

2) Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

- He love languages are Acts of service and Quality time. As a king he is very busy, his free time is precious and he likes to enjoy it with his son ( especially when Dark Choco returns to his arms ). He is very protective of Dark Choco and would not hesitate to risk his life to protect his son, but Dark Cacao's acts of devotion for love can become very extreme (which is not a light thing even at begin since when he became a yandere), he can go from imprisoning Dark Choco to cutting out the tongue of anyone who dares to speak ill of him no matter how true or light it is.

B : 1) Can they cook or bake? Is they children responsible for their own food?

- Can cook but normal level, he wasn't born royalty and was an explorer, of course he knows how to cook for himself but i don't think he's very good at it considering i don't think he cares too much about whether his food tastes good or not but this may change when he starts cooking for his son. He doesn't cook for Dark Choco often because he's busy managing the country and increasing Dark Choco protection measures, actually at first during the early days of Dark Choco's life he never cooked for him that was the job of a servant, but gradually he changed because he realized how distant he had been to Dark Choco and wanted to change, you know cooking is also a language of love and even later all of Dark Choco food had to be cooked by him because Dark Cacao's mental state escalated, he slowly became a severely paranoid yandere, acting as if every food Dark Choco put in his mouth wasn't made by him then there was a 99.99999% chance Dark Choco would die from poisoning.

2) Blood : How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

- War, genocide, dismemberment people ,... In short, he doesn't mind being a Beast.

C : 1) Cruentus- How do they respond to children being hurt, both slightly and severely?

- Hell, the person who did it should wish that they and their family, those related to them have a quick death. Bonus : Their bodies will not be treated well, it is a pity that even innocent people do not have the right to wish for an intact corpse and a proper burial.

And did you know that in ancient times, in Asian cultures, if you committed a crime against the royal family, your entire living family generation would be killed, including your father's, mother's, and wife's (or husband's) relatives. (In my country, this is called "tru di cửu tộc")

2) Cruelty: How would they treat their children once abducted? Would they mock them?

-No, he will never mock Dark Choco. The closest thing he got was scolding Dark Choco when he thought his son did something stupid and potentially harmful to himself like trying to escape.

- He really tries his best to give Dark Choco the best he can, he pampers him as much as he can and treats him like a diamond with the strength of glass. Those who cause even the slightest scratch to Dark Choco will pay dearly.

D: 1) Disengage : What's their response to being ignored?

- Sadness, but he did nothing. To others he may seem like the embodiment of Satan, the demon of wrath, one small mistake and you will be beheaded, even if you are innocent you can still be beheaded but for Dark Choco he has the patience of a saint.

2) Dearest : Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their children will?

- I can't think of anything specific right now but there will definitely be, right now I just have a vague idea that he can stop Dark Choco from doing things that he thinks are harmful to Dark Choco.

E: 1) Enclosure: Where do they keep children ?

- In his castle of course, but the concern here is that if his yandere level gets too bad he might even force Dark Choco stay in his bedroom ( please don't think something weird, he is just overthinking and there is not ( or don't care) concept of private space anymore ) . That would make Dark Choco's situation even more hellish, being watched by your father who is also your captor 24/7 (Dark Cacao would move his office into his bedroom if he was crazy enough to force Dark Choco to stay in his room, he would do that to monitor his son after all, he would probably even cut down on going out as much as possible to only going out for meetings or fighting to protect his country, his country is the only thing left he cares about besides Dark Choco which makes them always together for days, weeks, months) is not a comfortable thing. Remember Yandere not mean to be healthy, to make the one they love happy, even platonic yandere.

2) Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their children ? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their children ?

- All his heart, his soul, his life is for his son. You hurt Dark Choco you hurt Dark Cacao, it even worse than you directly hurt Dark Cacao exponentially and it increases proportionally to his madness.

F : 1) Facade: Are they good at hiding their true intentions?

- He doesn't usually hide his intentions, actually in this platonic yandere relationship i see Dark Cacao never hides his true intentions because he's too strong and that doesn't fit his personality, he can easily get what he wants by force so why need to be histrionic, something that makes him so tired. But if put in a situation where Dark Cacao feels he needs to hide his intentions, he can also act a little, like putting on and keeping still a serious expressionless face or acting as if nothing is happening but inside he is in turmoil or thinking about doing something sinister, well it's little but he's very good at it, years of being king require you to have some degree of control over your expressions and you'd be surprised how useful it can be in "taking care" of his child.

Fight: How would they feel if their children fought back?

- My man is gonna be going through the 5 stages of grief as badly as an overthinking yandere can do, anger will be first it will be like " How dare he attack his father AGAIN ? Still not learned a lesson ? I do everything for his sake, I do so much for him and he treat me like THIS ? " , next could be depression although this emotion can also be in other stages like 4,5 for example it like " How could he treat his father like that? Or am I really the one at fault? Haven't I done enough? I still haven't fixed my mistake? ?Doesn't he love me? " This stage is worse the further back you go can move from sadness to actual depression, denial will be 3 he will convince himself that his son didn't try to hurt him even though it was obvious, that it was just a misunderstanding just an accident, that Dark Choco still loved him, he was just a childish boy who lacked control and attacked his father (Dark Choco really still loved him, it was just that Dark Cacao thought that after what he had done to Dark Choco from childhood to adulthood, he no longer loved him and that's really why he locked Dark Choco up, he didn't want to lose him... not again) and justify himself that his actions were right, 4 bargaining after trying to justify what he did in stage 3 he will try to point out the benefits of the wrongdoing he did mainly to appease himself, 5 Acceptance no matter how things turn out in the end, he will simply accept it and then do nothing to change it, until the next time he goes through the 5 stages of grief and it all starts over again.

G : 1) Garment : Do they take control of their children clothes?

- Control like what ??? Is whether Dark Choco gets to wear clothes or not and whether his clothes are good or not (nice, warm, not torn) depends on his behavior ? if so then NO, Dark Cacao isn't that bad, no matter how bad Dark Choco behaves, he's still given the best things materially. But if it's about whether he chose Dark Choco's clothes or not, does Dark Choco have the right to choose his clothes or not, did he do anything to Dark Choco's clothes or not ? Dark Cacao does choose clothes for his son but not always, most of the time he lets Dark Choco choose his own clothes and only occasionally chooses a few outfits he thinks are nice for his son to wear but if his son doesn't like what he chooses, he won't force him wear the only times he forced his son to dress was when he saw that he was not dressed warmly enough and might catch a cold, the freedom to choose clothes is one of the few rights Dark Choco has under Dark Cacao control, the closest thing to control when it comes to Dark Choco outfit is that Dark Cacao is also very strick about poison checking (he's overthinking).

2 ) Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their children try to escape ?

- No, this absolutely not a game to him and he certainly didn't like seeing his son trying to escape.

H : 1) Hell: What would be their children worst experience with them?

I have two answers which one do you want ? 1 is sure to happen and 2 only in the worst case. If 1 then is being constantly monitored and controlled if it 2 then broken legs.

2) Handicap: How do they handle children being or becoming disabled?

- Ha ha, hell. The person responsible for this better suicide now because no matter where you run, Dark Cacao will still find you and give you a life worse than death and Dark Cacao will fall into a bottomless abyss called self-blame and he will start self-destructive behavior. Of course he still tries his best to take care of his child, he is not the kind of parent who will drown in sorrow and abandon their children 'when it needs them most'.

[rooksamoris]

I just read your thoughts about Scarabia and Leona's arc development in game, and I got very interested.

There's very little info on Arabian culture online, at least that I've seen, and also African. A thing that makes me very curious is about their mythologies, folklore, and also music. We know a lot about food, since it's something so universal, but the rest is hard to get info on, unless it gets popularized or romanticized by someone else.

The scarabia arc is one of my favorites for a reason, and that is because I'm very sympathetic with Jamil, and very sad how his and Kalim's story together got so "twisted" so fast (ehe). Honestly there are so many layers to it that it would take many many chapters, and events, to close the situation. But I think it's good they left the future open like that, since it's something that can't be fixed overnight.

And also, *gets down* PLS PLS PLS PLS 🙏 I love the fluffy fics, are you going to also add Bolllywood songs? They are so good seriously it's so dancing and fun! I love Jamil so much and I MELTED with the headcanon short fic where we are taking care of him. I wanna hold his precious handsome face and just kiss it all over! He is so cute I will go FERAL-

hey qamar 💕 this was a pleasure to read! honestly, i feel like both the scarabia and savannaclaw chapters were too short? of course, we were introduced to the themes and then the whole conflict—resolution mountain for stories, however i just feel like they could have done more with the both of them.

also, i think the reason why the southwest-asian and african themes aren’t covered is because the source material is literally disney films 💀 like we get a warning before rewatching aladdin since they just now realized it was kind of racist (still a major part of my childhood though 😭 “a whole new world” in arabic is delicious). based on how yana has written other characters that are meant to be from south asia, there’s a big chance it would have been disappointing anyways.

plus, with scarabia in particular, there’s too many cultures trying to be represented due to how colonizers deemed all of the countries to be the same thing in different fonts 💀 you’d never confuse a nepali with an omani, but winston churchill sure did not care.

the original aladdin movie was meant to take place in baghdad, a city in iraq, but due to political conflicts at the time (george bush a war criminal regardless of saddam hussein’s crimes. the usa literally gave saddam weapons to kill kurds and then turned around and invaded when he wasn’t convenient anymore 💀). baghdad became agrabah—but the culture is still an amalgamation of west asian, south asian, north african, and like eurasian/turkish culture. im sure they’ve got stuff from central asia too 😭

the issue with this is that from ethnic group to ethnic group/country to country, the culture varies a lot. yemenis and palestinians are both arabs, but our cultures are vastly different, with yemenis having more eastern african influences and palestinians having mediterranean influences. i personally headcanon the scarabia duo as arab, but honestly, they could be from anywhere. for all we know, kalim is afghan and jamil is tunisian—it’s all up in the air due to the original source material. but i digress!! i rambled a lot 😭

ON THE BOLLYWOOD NOTE! omg this brought so many good memories back. we used to watch bollywood films with shitty arabic dubs 🥹 i miss those days. i love that idea and ive always wanted to write bollywood inspired fics, like based on the crazy and unrealistic romantic moments in bollywood. it’s just so much fun lmao. honestly, i think that’s a great idea especially when so many bollywood songs just lead the listener through a story anyways. im so glad you enjoy my fics!!! that’s very sweet 💕 have a great day, qamar, and take care of yourself

[ticchina]

You know what I need? A mileapo documentary.

That would be a fucking game changer.

BL industry worldwide, especially in asian countries, lacks open-minded, intelligent and educated people, ironically. Which both Mile and Apo are.

I wanna hear them talk in detail about their experiences in life, how they got to the point they are at, how they met and how their meeting affected their lives outside of gaining fame. From what I can tell by their latest interviews, they feel much more comfortable and open around each other, people around them and the world, with the help of one-another. I wanna know more. I want to see them just have a conversation about any topic in the world, maybe even about their duo itself. What does it feel like to be partnered up with a man for the first time? how do they feel about representing queer community? how long are they hoping to stay together in this? what do they think comes next? Has their mindset about life & love changed after working on Kinnporsche? Do they share most of their opinions? They are pretty fucking different.

What's their daily life like? Because these mfs are BOOKED, like to the point that I cannot even keep up, how do they manage to keep up? How much do they rely on each other when it gets too tiring or too stressful? How do they deal with said stress?

How Mile manages to balance his rich CEO alpha life with queer art he creates with probably the sweetest man that has ever walked on earth? How did he come to the realization of "yeah I could do this for sure". Yea sorry, it's a big step over here, so did he face any backlash for it? Especially coming from such a huge background? Did he not care? Bc he seems like he couldn't care less about what anyone thinks, both his pants and pockets are full, mf has life figured out.

How did Apo manage to gain strength to come back? And MAKE A COMEBACK. Running away as a kid from homophobic industry, to coming back as an adult and playing a masculine bottom. Was it hard for him? Of course it was, but I mean, was it hard waiting for the response of the public? Was it hard getting into the role, knowing at the back of his mind what his former colleagues would think? Did he also not care? Did Mile make it easier for him? Why did he decide to come back after so many years? Did he finally feel strong enough mentally? Was this his way of taking revenge for what his younger self had to endure? Did he talk about his experiences with Mile? Of course he did, I just wanna know how it went down. Does he plan on continuing being in the industry?

Do they think, they could continue on in the industry, without each other?

They have such a beautiful way of expressing themselves, beautiful ways of viewing life and people different from them, they are so fucking accepting and understanding of others. What did it take to get there?

Most of these things are topics that Mile and Apo have touched on before, I just want it put together nicely, I want them to have time to think, to have no interviewers, no constant questions about how gay they are for each other. I just want them to sit in a room, sip some wine and baklava, and talk their hearts out.

p.s this ain't a ship post, I just like them as people and they mention the positive influence they had on each other a lot, I want a deep dive on that. I know not a lot of y'all can relate to having idols with likeable personalities, not me tho, yall stay safe.

[notafunkiller]

I saw people giving criticism to Sebastian's mom. Jesus!

Tell you've never been outside the Us without telling me you've never been outside the Us

Please, most Euopean and Asian moms belive in blunt approaches, but they love their kids. Most Romanian moms' love language is making fun of their kids and no, they do not hate them. They also believe in the idea of: Let me tell you the harsh truth before a stranger does because at least I do it out of love and the need to protect you. They do it to hurt you. That's how they think thet prepare you for real life.

Being a parent is VERY HARD.

Especially being in Georgeta's shoes, who lived in communism most of her youth and her childhood (I bet especially after Sebatsian's dad left and helped othersz she was also followed by the Security + her whole family), got divorced young and left her the country without her son😭 (and she did not speak German), then came back to get him and lived in Germany, got remarried and moved to another country. THE AMERICAN dream country. She did not speak English well, she was still scared... Imagine leaving your parents behind, your friends, your country. She barely had any people to speak Romanian with... her native language. Imagine that! Of course she told him to be someone, to take this chance, to be good! She was hard on him maybe, but he said multiple times he was a bit difficult and tbh imagine raising a teenage boy back then when the world was changing? She wanted the best for him.

She (+Sebastian for a bit) lived in Romania during a hard time for the country (there were food resteictions, you were listened to by everyone in case you spoke against the regime... especially if you were an artist, books and music that could be seen as against the regime even a little were banned. Western films? Not allowed.)

Is it good to put pressure on gour kdis? No. Is the intention good? Yes. Out of love and protection. Imagine how much she sacrificed and risked...

As Sebastian said, after The Revolution everything was chaotic. The country's properties got sold slowly, people started to buy things from Turkey and sell them extra ⬆️ in the country. The money had no value after... Just imagine having your whole life change and no one in charge wanted the good for the country... for the people.

Georgeta is brave, and I think Sebastian loves her now more than ever because he is old enough to realize things would have been completely different if they stayed... even in Germany.

These parents love their children very much (but they were raised not to show love through words -> they give you things, sacrifice themselves, buy you things... that's their love language, trust me)

It's so easy to judge people... We should all mind out business when it comes to such complex topics.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

What are your thoughts on Alina being Shu in the show? If canon Alina was from Shu Han do you think it would've made any difference? The show kind of wasted this storyline but idk if I prefer Alina actually having a solid backstory or book Alina being this nobody from nowhere that's now a reverred saint. Also I've seen a lot of people from the book fandom hc darkling as shu looking.

I like her being specifically mixed race a lot! Especially with how it ties into her unmoored feeling where she isn’t sure there’s anywhere she truly belongs. I think it could bring really interesting context to her perspective.

When the show and casting were announced I suspected they chose to have her be half Shu because the books are uh pretty racist in that regard! It starts out in subtler ways with the only Asian characters being either the fucking karate teacher trope or Tolya and Tamar as both having essentially renounced their heritage and country completely in order to be counted “one of the good ones” but also the way they’re employed as the only genuinely faithful characters (devoted to the in-books white lead) in the main cast, while shdhff also being presented as untrustworthy when they sell them out to the Apparat?

But then the SoC duology gets sooo much worse with the parem being given a not!opium position as the scary dangerous Drug From The East and the hardcore dehumanized super soldiers from Shu Han whose name I forgot how to spell but omg it really felt like they only existed to be killed in really gruesome and mean spirited ways. Not to mention Wylan’s magic yellowface! That would be terrible on its own but then that’s how the book attempts to remotely deal with racism sjfhfgff by the character in yellowface experiencing micro agressions. It’s just. It’s bad!

I think someone must have said something to LB by KoS or she just realized the implications were decidedly not great because she tries to course correct really hard and shift most antagonistic focus to Fjerda instead. (Too little too late imo 🥲)

So I was assuming the half Shu Alina choice was in a similar vein? But yeah the show did absolutely nothing with it! What a missed opportunity! I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt with season one where Alina being Shu was only used as an excuse to hurl made up slurs at her, thinking that it might be building to something? …But then it didn’t lol. And that retroactively made the slurs and focus on racism feel so pointless and mean spirited. It felt like an admittance that her being hit over the head constantly with racism wasn’t at all integral to the story and she could’ve been a mixed race protagonist all along without any of that!

But yeah all that being said, I like the concept of Alina being mixed. But I also wouldn’t trust Leigh Bardugo with it? Like everything I already mentioned in the books aside, I think she has a terrible habit of giving her POC characters very racialized suffering in their backstories. I strongly disliked how she handled race with both Inej and Zoya. Zoya was worse imo because she was initially clearly written to be white, but once we got a race retcon for her she suddenly has a never before hinted at poverty and child bride backstory when she’s primarily been associated with privilege before? Like the problem isn’t that she has a tragic backstory, but all the choices felt very racialized. I also just found it slimy how officially commissioned art etc had her visibly brown then the books make a point of saying multiple times that she just… looks white? Just leaves a bad taste in my mouth like she wants the representation brownie points without being willing to commit in canon. So idk as much as I’d love a POC protagonist, if Alina was half Shu in the books as well I wouldn’t trust LB to not give her a weird racial caricature tragic backstory. I do think we could still have the “no backstory just came out of nowhere” thing with her being mixed, I don’t think that has to be canceled out. Like it’s mentioned that Keramzin regularly takes in “war orphans” and border areas tend to be racially mixed. But yeah I just think LB would probably get weird with it. (She was admittedly better with race in Ninth House, but I suspect that also had to do with the real world contemporary setting)

Also the Darkling thing isn’t an HC it’s from a one off line in Demon in the Wood! It’s mentioned that he can, and has, passed as Shu. It’s ahdhf never mentioned again though and kind of wild tbh considering the very visibly white face casts she’s talked about for him in the past?? But that’s just word of god whereas the line in DitW is canon so 🤷‍♀️

[i-swear-my-name-isnt-raz]

I am so fucking tired of being mistreated and walked over. In order to be walked upon, you must be lying down. and I'm done lying down.

I am only starting to speak up about these kinds of grievances of mine in recent years because they have brought so much pain for the last 15 years. I have had former classmates tell me I didn't face racism growing up, or that I dealt with bullying. I have had others tell me I have nothing to fear on campus. A tall, white, straight man telling me, a queer jewish asian, that I shouldn't be at the very least worried is rich. I have traveled to more than 25 countries and to all four hemispheres, I think I can talk about where and where I don't feel safe. And right now I have felt safer walking through Istanbul at night than walking around my own city. And this is fully due to the rise in antisemitism. and the lack of support from goyim I have seen for the women who were raped and assaulted on 10/7.

I don't talk about being sexually assaulted and harassed for 6 years by one of my classmates because I have a friend who tells me people should have been nicer to my assaulter. This person also follows my main account, which is part of the reason I created this side blog. I don't want people who know me to see these posts. It's easier talking about deep trauma in front of strangers than people I have known for 16 years.

I am terrified that I will run into him one day. I cry about it at night. I hope that 10 plus years has changed my physical appearance enough to go unnoticed. I think one of the scariest realizations was that he still remembered me in high school, because one of his classmates went to my dojo. And she told me I was still on his list. It terrifies me that I could still be on his mind. I have blocked his family members on social media, because his grandmother and my mom are Facebook friends. Which means he could know what I look like now.

I never express this fear out loud because people around me see me as a strong person, which then makes it hard for me to break down around them. I am the strong person my friends go to for support, but I feel like I would crush them under the weigh of my problems. I mention it in passing sometimes, but I never get into the details. because it scares me to vocalize it.

I have trained in karate and Brazilian Jiu jitsu for 10 years. It took me two years before I was comfortable rolling (bjj version of sparring and training) with male students in full uniform. It took until my 7th year training to be comfortable wearing leggings and rash guard to class. I would wear gi pants and a rash guard, because the thought of men touching my legs with their hands makes my skin crawl. But once the pandemic came around, it was no longer practical to wear gi pants and cheaper to wear leggings. And even though I am one of the highest ranked women at my dojo, I still don't feel comfortable in male dominated classes, especially when I am wearing just leggings and a rash guard. In karate, it took me a few years before I was comfortable wearing just my bra under my gi. because I was worried how it appeared to men on the floor.

I have never been super comfortable wearing revealing clothing, but I have been slowly reclaiming those clothes. And I am slowly trying to overcome this trauma. I spent a good amount of time this summer not wearing a shirt because it was so fucking hot in Portugal (and I only brought seven shirts with me: 3 work shirts, 3 day trip shirts, 1 sleeping shirt). And for the first two weeks, I was living with three men and two women. It scared me at first, but I decided that if I am used to changing around women, and wearing skin tight clothing while grappling, I could wear my bra and biking shorts in my own living space. So I did. and it felt great.

I will keep talking about these events, partially because it makes me less afraid and partially because every time I tell a story, the easier it gets. Maybe one day I will be able to say some of the things in this post out loud. for now I will keep taking small steps

[wuxiaphoenix]

Worldbuilding: The Tax Man Cometh

Ah, tax season. That time of year when the weather is veering from cold to thunderstorms and otherwise upset, but not nearly as upset as the harrowed souls tangling with the labyrinth that is the U.S. tax code.

Mine needed at least eight separate sheets of paper (any amount of royalties counts as self-employed and that is a lot of paperwork), meaning I always bring the envelope to the post office directly to be weighed and have correct postage applied. If the government loses my forms again, it’s not going to be a fault on my end.

...I had someone ask what I was doing as I was photocopying said forms at the library. Evidently it wasn’t obvious.

“Why would you want to do that?”

In case the government loses the originals. Again.

“But that would never happen!”

For a moment I could only blink at her, because this lady was at least a decade or so older than me, meaning way more than old enough to know better. Because it has to me in the past. On at least three separate occasions. How do people sail through life this oblivious?

...Anyway. If you have a government in your world, you have taxes. Even if it’s something as simple as “I’m the head of this clan, I get first pick of everything.” How taxes are collected, and what they’re used for, make a big difference in how your society works, whether or not trade and technological advancement are supported or discouraged, how upset people are with the government in general, and how much power they have to do anything about it.

One of the ways taxes make a big difference is, are they collected in kind, in a specific produced thing, or in money? In a lot of Asian countries, for example, taxes were often historically collected in rice. In the short term this was relatively convenient for the government, which could assess land for its potential rice production and assign taxes accordingly; not to mention acquiring the rice necessary to feed the court, with extra to sell for everything else. But there are several potential problems. Bad weather and famine years would hit marginal farmers with a double whammy; they couldn’t produce enough rice to pay their own taxes, and they couldn’t buy enough food to stay alive. In contrast good years meant the price of rice dropped and the government was suddenly short of cash. Demanding taxes in rice instead of money also forces more people to stay in agriculture, even if the area is better suited to, say, herding, fishing, or long-distance trade. And one of the things about taxing in rice that was particularly convenient to the Tokugawa Shogunate starting out bit them in the rear big-time over two centuries later.

I’m going to elaborate on this because it’s interesting, especially if you’re a Rurouni Kenshin fan. If you’ve looked into the Bakumatsu, you know two of the major drivers of it were the Satsuma and Choushu domains. What you may not know is that when Tokugawa Ieyasu assigned domains and assessed taxes for the Shogunate (which were then mostly followed for centuries after), is that those two domains in particular had been very hard-hit by the Onin War a century before the whole Tokugawa takeover, and thus had lost a lot of farms, and on top of that had land that was otherwise undeveloped. So... their taxes were assessed relatively low, compared to the farmland they potentially had.

Mind, it took them two centuries to realize the whole potential of what they had. But the Shogunate kept on trucking with the same assessed taxes, counting on alternate attendance to keep the daimyo too poor to make trouble. And eventually Choshu and Satsuma... weren’t that poor. And other nations were knocking on the doors, able and willing to sell firearms, among other things....

Taxes, like everything else government does, have consequences. Give them some thought for your world!

[mayfly-maycry]

In the morning, Loid and Yor both functional on large amounts of coffee (it’s not the first time either of them has had to work off of a sleepless night in their respective lines of work), the Forgers take Itadori out to figure out how to get him home. First thing’s first: figuring out where exactly that home is. The Forgers don’t recognize the name “Japan,” but Itadori is confident he could recognize his home country on a map, so they visit a library in search of a world atlas. They find one, and Itadori successfully points out his home — an island on the opposite side of the continent. Maybe the map is over 50 years out of date, and maybe the shape of the countries and continents is a little off (not that Itadori was ever good enough at geography to notice), but it still does the job.

Meanwhile, the adults have realized the immense distance involved. Loid is muttering to himself trying to work through the train routes he knows and where he needs to get the ones he doesn’t, and how could this boy have gotten *this* lost, and Yor is tearing up at the thought of the long, hard journey that must have brought Itadori here (things like sheltering in a cave for a night, having to fight a bear for it, almost losing but being saved by a pack of wolves before the bear could strike the final blow, then bonding with the wolves and traveling as part of their pack until he spots civilization in their city and is forced to say a teary goodbye before returning to where he belongs. You know, Yor’s usual imagination). Since the adults are lost in their own world, Itadori turns to Anya, who puts her finger on the map and tells him that’s where they are. Itadori is also shocked by the distance, more so when Loid corrects Anya, pointing to Ostania about twice the distance from Japan as she had thought. A cursed technique that could physically send him that far in an instant was insane; once again, he finds himself wondering what exactly happened in Shibuya while he was out, and Sukuna remains silent and unhelpful.

At that distance, especially needing to cross the ocean to reach Japan, the fastest way to go is probably by airplane. But when Itadori says as much, but Loid objects. He had initially been planning to pay for Itadori’s travel himself to speed him on his way, but with the much larger than expected distance, the Forgers are simply not in an economic class where they could afford to drop that much money to send a stranger home (and Loid couldn’t reasonably justify getting the money from WISE), let alone by expensive air travel. He tells Itadori as much, offering to pay what they can and help him find a job to earn the rest; but it would be faster to work until he has enough to go by slightly slower train than to save up enough to fly.

Itadori realizes with a sinking feeling that he’s gotten used to the depths of Gojo’s pockets, and of course a family that can’t even afford a single smart phone wouldn’t be able to afford transcontinental plane tickets. Which also moves his return to Shibuya from maximum 48 hours to minimum a week, at which point whatever happens at Shibuya — whatever happens to his friends — will be over. And he’s stuck here, powerless to help.

Before Itadori can spiral too badly, Loid suggests they go try to work out as much of the route — primarily by train — as they can so they can get an estimate of how much money Itadori would need. It snaps him out of it: no point in focusing on what he can’t do, he should just focus on what he can do: getting home as soon as possible.

Based on what they can find — which is only so much, given a distinct lack of any information on trains in any Asian country aside from their equivalent of Russia — they determine that, at a part-timer’s wage (which is all he’d be able to get given his qualifications and time constraints), it would likely take Itadori around three weeks to make what he needs to afford the trip. It’s not great; but it’s a plan of action.

And with that settled, Itadori spends another night with the Forgers before Loid brings him to Franky in the morning. Finding a part-time job that will make good use of Itadori’s self-proclaimed strength is easy enough for the informant, but when Loid asks him to let Itadori live with him until he earns enough to leave, Franky flat-out refuses.

“There’s not enough room at my place for a woman to spend the entire night in bed with me, let alone room for a growing boy! Keep him at your place, you have an extra room!”

“You know how Ostania treats foreigners and people who associate with them; he’s a risk to Operation Stryx! Besides, you know perfectly well that’s Yor’s room.”

“Just tell people he’s a relative who needs to stay with you for a while! And if that doesn’t work, just throw him out! You don’t have any obligation to keep taking care of this random kid.”

“A relative… that might work. He has the same pink hair as Anya; trace it up her “mother’s” side, give her a brother who married a foreigner, and I would have a nephew Yuuji Itadori. I’ll have to make sure Yor and Anya are onboard with this; Franky, can you get me the appropriate documents in case the secret police come knocking?”

Franky sighs. “You never could leave the kids alone, could you? Alright, you got it!”

I’ve got a Spy x Family/Jujutsu Kaisen/Saiki K AU cooking in my head that I don’t think I’m actually going to write anytime soon so I might start posting the ideas here instead

[blackstarising]

coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

[keanureevesisbae]

But professor... - c.1

Summary: Penny Townsend is going to attend her first criminology class. What she didn’t expect was professor Walter Marshall.

Professor!Walter Marshall x Penny Townsend (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of murder and blood

A/N: I hope you enjoy this Professor!AU -- can you imagine? Walter Marshall as a professor? 🤤

Masterlist // But professor... masterlist // Next chapter

✎ ✎ ✎

My parents hoped that I would become a doctor. I get it—being friends with a lot of successful parents with equally successful children, must’ve raised their standard for me. They however must’ve known that medicine wasn’t it for me and going to law school isn’t my forte either. It must’ve been hard on them, knowing I wasn’t that intellectually gifted, though they tried their best for me to be.

They did a lot for me. At the ripe age of two to five hours, I was placed at the entrance of a church in Maryland. The pastor and his wife discovered me and brought me to the hospital, only to found out I wasn’t just a couple weeks premature, but also had a lot of heroin in my system.

My birth parents barely gave me a chance the second I was born (probably when I was conceived, but okay) and that is why I am so grateful that my adoptive parents care so much about me.

And that’s why I want to make them proud and studying psychology is my best chance at being the successful daughter they deserve, but man does it feel wrong to be here. I know there is another student out there who deserves to be here, who actually wants to do this, yet here I am taking their place.

Psychology wasn’t the greatest choice already, but having to take criminology was an even bigger mistake. I walk into the lecture hall for the first criminology class. My hands shake because of the nerves, they’re even clammy. I’m not good at making friends, so seeing those cliques that has formed after only two weeks of university, makes me slightly jealous and really alone.

I never really fitted in. My teachers would describe me as a sweet young girl, who is painfully shy.

That, of course, is if they even noticed me at all.

It can be hard to fit in, especially when you feel out of place the second you enter a room, like I have felt since I can remember.

‘Take a seat,’ I hear a deep voice say and I look up, to meet the eyes of the professor. He is unlike all of my other professors. He isn’t in a suit or at least some decent slacks. His denim jeans hugs his thick thighs, as he wears a sweater on top. His curls are disheveled and slightly frizzy and his beard is asymmetrical. A deep frown in between his brows.

‘Me?’ I ask in a soft tone.

He nods. ‘You,’ he confirms.

I walk passed him to choose a seat in the back. I take place and look around me, only to meet the eyes of the professor again. While I wonder what made him choose teaching, since he doesn’t look like someone who was born to teach, I also ponder about the fact he is looking at me again.

Why would he do that?

I grab my laptop and open it, opening a new document. I’ve been going to NYU for two weeks now, yet this is my first criminology class. I run my fingers through my hair, pushing up the glasses on my nose bridge.

‘Okay everyone,’ I hear the professor say, when it’s time for the class to start. ‘There is a sheet going around. Find the spot you’re sitting now and write down your name. If I find out you are messing with me, you have failed your class immediately.’

He is not beating around the bush.

‘I’m detective Walter Marshall. I have worked for the MPD, the Minneapolis Police Department. For this semester there are three subjects we’ll cover. Victimology, crime analysis and the psychology of criminal behavior.’

This is not at all what I want to learn. This is too gore for me. I should’ve stood up to my parents and go to cosmetology school like I originally wanted. It’s better for me anyways.

I’m so stupid.

The paper ends up on my table and I try to find my place on it. I write down ‘Penelope Townsend’ and slide it to the person two tables over. Professor Marshall explains how we have a weekly lecture of two hours and how he is available for questions every Friday, since he’ll be in his office.

‘Does anyone have any questions?’

A guy raises his hand. ‘Why aren’t you working for the MPD anymore, sir?’

Professor Marshall sits on the edge of his desk, crossing his muscular arms in front of his chest. ‘I was put on leave.’

‘Why?’

‘There were some issues,’ he says. ‘Between me and suspects.’

I have no idea what he is implying, but the silence in the classroom is so thick, that I have a clue what types of issues came with said suspects.

‘Really?’ the guy asks.

The professor only raises his eyebrows, which obviously means he isn’t joking. You don’t need to have studied Psychology to figure that out. ‘Any more questions?

‘Do we work in pairs for the assignment?’ a girl asks.

He shakes his head. ‘No, individual works only.’

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank the stars, I don’t want to work with others. Really, I don’t.

‘Okay, if that’s all, let me start right away. What do these women have in common?’ He presses a button on his presenter and the screen behind him changes. Three pictures of women appear on the screen. It’s their driver’s license photo.

‘They’re women,’ a guy says, causing a few to laugh.

Professor Marshall grabs the paper with names and says: ‘Does anyone have something less obvious to comment than mister Fitzgerald?’ He seems not amused at all by the words of Fitzgerald.

‘Brown hair, blue eyes,’ a girl says.

He nods. ‘And?’

‘They’re pretty,’ another girl says.

‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ he notes. His eyes scan the paper and he looks up. ‘Miss Townsend, do you have something to add?’

Our eyes meet again and I realize that I’m the only miss Townsend in the class. I clear my throat and look at the pictures. Say something smart, Penny. Say something intelligent. Really intelligent.

The obvious things have already been said, so I should stay away from those things.

I swallow hard, press my glasses better on my nose and say: ‘Their left eyelid is slightly droopy.’

I hear some people chuckle a bit, making me feel everything but intelligent.

‘Quiet,’ professor Marshall says and the chuckles die down instantly. ‘Their droopy left eyelid is what made them appealing to the killer.’ He looks up from the other side of class, right at me. His slightly annoyed gaze dissolves for a few moments into a soft one. ‘Miss Townsend made an excellent point here. It took an entire police department to come to that conclusion over the course of two months.’

Oh my goodness, I made an excellent point.

The slides change and I see another picture. This time it’s of a man. It’s a mugshot. I bet he is the killer.

‘Miss Townsend, since you are on a roll,’ the professor continues and I nearly groan. Really? He wants me to answer another questions? ‘What’s do you notice about this man?’

I scan his entire face. He has a crooked nose, blemishes on his forehead and thin lips. He looks like a killer. This would be the type of man I would avoid if I came across him.

‘His left eyelid is also droopy,’ I say.

Is that a tiny smirk on his lips? ‘Correct.’ While professor Marshall continues to explain about how his own appearance is unknowingly influencing his choice of victims, I can’t help but beam a little with pride. ‘Because,’ he continues, ‘if you understand your victims, you can understand your killer.’ The slideshow changes to one word. ‘Welcome to victimology.’

✎ ✎ ✎

Time spend in a lecture hall while professor Marshall teaches flies by. Though he is a bit grumpy and not very welcoming, he is interesting and smart. Much better than my other teachers. I put everything in my backpack, before I get up from my seat. I’m one of the last students to leave the place, mostly because I don’t want to be swarmed by the cliques.

‘Miss Townsend,’ professor Marshall says, causing me to stop misstep as I already passed him.

I turn around. ‘Yes?’ I ask.

He doesn’t look up from his notes. ‘You did well in class today.’

Is this man giving me a compliment? He might be the first one in a teacher like position to ever notice me, let alone give me a compliment. ‘I did?’

‘Yeah,’ he says, now looking up from his notes. ‘Don’t hesitate to say something in class next time. You have great insight.’

‘Or just luck,’ I say.

Professor Marshall shakes his head. ‘No, this isn’t about luck, this is good insight. So, can you promise me to raise your hand next class?’

I bite my lip, before shaking my head. ‘No, I can’t.’

‘Why can’t you?’

‘What I said: this was luck and it probably won’t happen again. I have to go. I reserved a spot at the library. If that is all, sir?’

He doesn’t say anything, simply looks at me. It takes a second, maybe two before he nods. ‘If you have questions,’ he says, ‘you know how to contact me.’

I nod, before I walk out of the hall. I see students gathering in front of the door and I quickly slip through them and make my way to the library. I’ve been going to classes for around two weeks now and I’m still up to date as we speak. I decide to at least make a beginning with the assignments of my criminology class, because the sooner I start, the less work and stress I’ll experience later on, because I most definitely will stress about it.

It’s been quite awhile since I opened a book for school for assignments or preparing for exams. After high school, I decided to take a gap year, which ended in two. I’ve traveled with all sorts of groups to different countries, worked at an international cafe in Japan for awhile. It did help me with my social skills. I was happy, social and totally in my element. Those wonderful skills were all forgotten the second I stepped foot back in the USA again.

It was my parents that pushed for going back to college and once they figured out that medicine or law wasn’t up my alley, they agreed psychology, though it wasn’t my thing either.

It’s okay, sure, but… Gosh, I miss the freedom I had during the gap years. I’m not stupid, but is the academical life for me? I have looked at cosmetology school and boy do I wish I was there at the moment.

And not here.

✎ ✎ ✎

I don’t know how long I have been at the library, but my eyes are tired by the time I close my laptop. Besides working on my assignment, I also texted my parents to tell them everything is going fine and checked out multiple cosmetology schools here in the area.

Originally I’m from Maryland, meaning it’s only a three hour drive to see my parents and for them to check in on me. I considered lying about my major, about attending NYU and just go to cosmetology school, but mom and dad are paying my tuition, which is another loophole in my plan.

I put the laptop in my backpack and walk out of the library. Every second my mind wasn’t occupied with university related things, it went straight back to my first criminology class, more specifically my professor. His words. It’s one thing he said those things to me, but another that he looked so handsome while saying it.

‘There she is,’ I hear from behind me as I walk through the hallways to the exit. I turn around to discover it’s Fitzgerald. I forgot his first name, which is weird since we share a lot of the same classes together. He isn’t easy to miss. Pleasant on the eyes, that’s for sure, but he is loud, thinks he is hilarious and that makes him kinda annoying. ‘Miss Townsend,’ he says in a mocking tone.

Okay, change kinda annoying to absolutely insufferable.

‘Hm?’

Fitzgerald walks next to me and he comes a lot closer than I prefer. ‘You’re already the teacher’s pet,’ he continues. ‘Bet the man has a thing for Asian chicks.’

I have no idea how to respond to that implication. My instinct says to get out of here, but the exit is right ahead of me and from the looks of it, Fitzgerald is going there as well. So there is no escape.

‘But let’s say it’s beginners luck,’ he says, ‘because it was actually the first time I heard you speak.’

‘You mind leaving me alone?’ I ask.

‘Why is that, sugar boo?’

Okay, now I’m gonna vomit. Goosebumps run over my spine and the hairs in my neck are standing straight up. I bet this guy’s dad is rich, therefore the only reason he is here. ‘I don’t want you here.’

‘You don’t want me here?’ He starts to chuckle. ‘Sweetheart, everyone wants me here.’

Not me.

‘Fitzgerald, are you deaf?’

It’s professor Marshall.

His eyes enlarge when he realizes that too. ‘No, sir,’ he quickly says.

‘She said she doesn’t want you here.’ He stands in front of the two of us, looking everything but amused. ‘You know, back when I was working, I encountered a lot of guys like you. Did you know they usually peak in high school, do okay in college, but the second they end up locked up in jail—and I promise you, they most often will—they aren’t so tough anymore. They usually end up as someone’s bitch.’

To hear this entire monologue and the word bitch from a professor, was not at all what I was expecting. Fitzgerald’s face is drained from all its color. While Fitzgerald looks like he shat himself, I am utterly amazed. I wish I was this intimidating, I think to myself.

Fitzgerald clears his throat, eyes darting around the hallway, almost as if he is trying to find the closest exit. He shoots out of this place very quickly, meaning I’m left with only our professor.

‘Thank you, sir,’ I say.

Professor Marshall simply nods. ‘You know, if you lowered your shoulders, you’d appear more confident.’

Why do I feel so offended? ‘Oh…’

‘It’s advice, miss Townsend, not criticism.’

‘Oh,’ I say again, this time in a whisper like tone. He could’ve brought it up a bit nicer though. No need to hurt my feelings like that.

Professor Marshall and I both walk towards the exit and I notice it’s raining. Great, guess who didn’t bring her umbrella and also isn’t wearing a jacket with a hood?

Absolutely fantastic.

‘Here,’ the professor says, holding out his umbrella for me.

Is this truly happening? ‘Oh, sir, that’s not necessary.’

‘I insist.’

With some hesitation I grab the umbrella from him and smile. ‘Thank you, professor.’

He politely nods and walks off, leaving me with the umbrella and a little bit confused. Though he looks so handsome and slightly intimidating, he still is nice to me. The only teacher ever. Maybe Fitzgerald is right and—

No, no, no, don’t think like that. It’s not that every man who is nice to me all of the sudden has this fetish. That can’t be it, right?

Maybe, despite my aversion, I am actually good at the whole criminology thing and isn’t it a one time thing. Luck. Maybe I do have something I am good at.

✎ ✎ ✎

That Friday I am still on campus after I spend my entire afternoon in the library. Since I have a question about the criminology assignment, I decide walk to the office of professor Marshall. To kill two birds with one stone, I brought his umbrella with me so I can give it back. I knock on the door and hear a low: ‘Come in.’

I open the door and am met with the professor, who is sitting behind is desk. ‘Sir, I have a question about the assignment.’

He leans back in his chair and gestures me to come in. I close the door behind me and expect to sit, until I notice there isn’t a chair anywhere for me to sit on. How unwelcome of him, I think to myself. Does that mean I have to remain standing?

‘What’s your question, miss Townsend?’

‘I didn’t know which format I had to use for the entire assignment. It’s not really that big of a deal, but I was here in the building and I thought that I could…’ Nice way of getting off track, Penny. As they said in high school musical: ‘Get’cha your head in the game’ and this is  not the game. ‘Never mind. Which format should I use?’

‘That’s up to you,’ he says.

That’s it? That’s the answer he is gonna give me?

‘Right,’ I mumble.

‘Other questions, miss Townsend?’

Yes. I let out a deep sigh. ‘The assignment is just harder than I thought,’ I admit. ‘I don’t really understand it.’

Professor Marshall stands up and holds out his hand. ‘Sit, I’ll try to explain it.’

‘In your chair?’

He simply nods and I walk around the desk, to take a seat, while he leans against the windowsill. Oh, the leather is warm… What a body heat does this man produce. ‘Okay, the point of the assignment is to use some of the example files of—staged—murders. Based on the file you choose, you choose a format. You write out the victimology, try to narrate who the killer is, writing down all your findings and there are things I’m gonna talk about in next classes.’

I nod. ‘That makes it easier, thank you, sir.’

‘You’re already working on the assignment?’ he asks. Why does he sound genuinely surprised?

I nod again. ‘I am. I find it easier to work a bit every day, than to cram it all in one day.’ I realize how that sounds. ‘That sounds dorky.’

‘It doesn’t really. It’s a whole lot better than what I did back in the days,’ he says. ‘What did you think of the class?’

Is he asking for my opinion? ‘Your class was very interesting. Slightly morbid though, but fascinating.’

‘Morbid?’ the professor asks. ‘There was nothing morbid about my class.’

I scrunch up my nose. ‘It was kinda scary. With the blood patterns and all. The peek into the murderer’s mind?’ I shiver. ‘Don’t know, felt too personal and too much into the killer’s brain.’

‘The class you’re taking is criminology,’ he says, ‘you should’ve known.’

I shrug, not knowing what to say to him. He is right…

‘Miss Townsend—’

‘Penny,’ I say. ‘It’s Penny. Penelope officially, but people barely call me that.’ People barely call out for me ever, but that’s a different topic. Total different topic.

‘Penny,’ he says, ‘could’ve known.’

I don’t know what he is implying, but I realize I am totally overstaying. ‘I’m sorry, I should go. Thanks for helping me out. Oh, I brought you back your umbrella. I don’t need it anyways.’

Professor Marshall nods. ‘Okay.’

‘I should go. It’s getting kinda dark already.’

‘Let me guess, you don’t do well in the dark.’

I smile almost out of guilt. ‘That obvious?’

For a brief moment I spot a smirk on his face. ‘I’m a detective, I spot these things.’

Okay, not gonna lie, but that’s pretty funny. ‘See you next class, professor,’ I say, standing up from his chair and I walk towards the door.

‘See you next class, Penny.’

[terubakudan]

This may be an old article from 3 years ago, but these cultural aspects/observations still apply even today. And though this is strictly a Chinese perspective, a lot of these everyday life bits are observed in Overseas Chinese communities in countries such as The Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. as well as countries heavily influenced by Chinese culture like Taiwan, Japan, and Korea.

I've always liked learning about other cultures and making comparisons between how things are done East vs West. Which probably stems from growing up with two cultures and Mom raising me on American movies xD

So the irony is if you asked me how many Chinese, Taiwanese, or Hong Kong actors I know, chances are I know as much as you do xD Like Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, and that's about it. But if you asked me about Western (specifically American and British) actors, then I have a useless brain dump of movie trivia and who was with who in what movie xD

Hmmm, both Taiwan and the Philippines are two distinct cultures but both look up to a certain country and are fascinated by that. In Taiwan's case, Japan and the US for the Philippines. In both cases, this is due to being under the rule of those countries in their history. Taiwan being under Japan for 50 years, and the Philippines being under Spain for 300+ years, followed by periods of American and Japanese rule. To put it simply though:

Taiwan is "mini-Japan with a very Chinese culture".

The Philippines is "former colony of Spain with lots of American influences".

But unlike the author, I've never set foot in any Western country, so my understandings are strictly what I've observed in media, which while it can be accurate, doesn't compare to actually experiencing the culture.

Some further elaboration on most points:

#1 We quite literally use chopsticks for everything. We use it to pick rice, viands, vegetables, fruit, smaller desserts, almost all the food you can think of.

But where do you put your chopsticks when you're not using them? Just put them on top of your bowl or flat on your plate. But do not ever stick them vertically. It's taboo, since it looks like incense sticks, which we use to pray for those who have passed, like our ancestors or during funerary services.

#3 The majority of Asia is obsessed with fair/white skin. In my time at the Philippines, I grew up watching all these Dove Whitening commercials and my classmates often commented on how fair my skin was, how they envied it etc. In Taiwan, girls often say they don't want to 變黑 (biàn hēi) 'become dark'. Japan and Korea too are not innocent of this either (if their beauty/skin products weren't a dead giveaway).

People here at Taiwan often mistake me for being from Hong Kong or Japan (as long as I don't speak Mandarin with my heavy accent xD). A Taiwanese classmate of mine joked that she often gets mistaken for being from Southeast Asia due to having a darker complexion. And while I laughed it off with her at that time, looking back, I now realize she was lowkey being racist. xD

And believe me Filipinas have mentioned literally being told 'your skin is so dark' here in Taiwan, or being given backhanded compliments like 'you're pretty despite having dark skin' and...*facepalms*

My point is, beauty is not exclusive to skin color. People who still think that are assholes.

#5 Not to say we don't have salt and pepper, but yes soy sauce and vinegar are the classic condiments you see on the table, be it at home or at a restaurant.

And if I may add, Taiwanese love their pepper. xD If you ever get to eat at a night market or a smaller "Mom n' Pop-style" restaurant here, some dishes/soups tend to add quite an excessive amount of pepper. Not like anthills, but quite liberally and way more than average. Enough that you see traces of pepper at the bottom of the food paper bag or swirling in your soup. xD

#6 I know this all too well from personal experience. In my years of studying at Taiwan, I always had roommates. 3 in my first school (I graduated high school in the Philippines pre K-12 so I had to make up 2 years of Senior High), followed by 2 in college, with the exception of 1 in freshman year.

My college did offer single person dorms but at around 9000 NTD ($324) per month compared to around 6000 NTD ($216) per semester. Because I wanted to save, the choice was obvious for me xD. But ah, this doesn't mean I don't value personal space, in fact I love having the room to myself, and since both my roomies would go home to their families every weekend, weekends were bliss for me xD

And you don't have to be friends with your roommates (that's an added bonus however), you just have to get along with them. I was quite lucky to have really great roommates all throughout my schooling years.

#9 In the Philippines, we do. Owing mostly to American influences and maybe being predominantly Catholic? xD

#10 *sigh* Chinese parents and parents from similar Asian cultures tend to put too much emphasis on grades, so much that kids could get sent to cram school as early as elementary. This is because what school you get into could literally affect your future job opportunities, and while that's not exclusive to any particular country/culture, I feel it's especially pronounced here in Asia. I'm really lucky my own parents weren't that strict about it. However, if your parents don't point the mistakes out to you, chances are you'll do it yourself, if you're an Asian kid like me anyway. xD It just becomes a habit.

#11 My family is an exception to this. xD We do say 'I love you' directly, but complete with the 'ah eat well ok?', 'don't scrimp on food', 'sleep well' and similar indirect words/actions of affection. We were doing 'Conceal, Don't Feel' before it became popular. xD

#13 I'm kind of confused about this but this has sort have changed over the years in which eye-contact is now more encouraged. But don't stare, especially at elders and authority figures. Sometimes it's just shyness though. xD And I've observed this with my own Taiwanese friend, especially when I'm complaining or ranting to her about something. xD I'm a person who likes to express my opinions strongly, which tends to scare/alienate some of the locals here, as doing so is kind of frowned upon. Thankfully, she does listen and offers her take on things.

#14 Ah this. xD In the Philippines, this is a common greeting known as beso-beso, and I freaked out too when an auntie did that to me. xD Needless to say, Mom lectured me later on what that was. ^^"

#16 Along with #3 another crazy beauty standard. In my view, people always look better with a little meat on them and when they're not horribly thin. Asia still has a loonng way to go with accepting different types of bodies if you ask me. This combined with modern beauty standards has made the pressure for women especially to 'look beautiful' higher than ever.

I know many people love them but please, starving yourself or glorifying eating disorders is never OK just to get this kind of 'ideal' body. I'm not part of the Kpop fandom, but even I think when idols get bullied just for gaining the least bit of weight among other insensitive comments, that's really going too far.

#17 'If you want to make friends, go eat.' <- I couldn't agree more. In the Philippines we have a greeting: 'Kumain ka na ba?' (Have you eaten?) . Similarly in Taiwan, we have 吃飯了沒? (chī fàn le méi), both of these can mean that in the literal sense but are often used as greetings instead. By then which invitation to having lunch/dinner together may or may not follow. Food really is a way for us to socialize and to catch up with what's going on in each other's lives. Not to say we don't have regular outings like going out to the mall, going shopping, etc. but eating together is a huge part of our culture, be it with family or friends.

And while I'm at it, some memes that are way too accurate good to pass up xD

Parents, uncles, aunties alike will fight over the bill xD

Alternatively:

You just space out until your name is called xD

My parents are guilty of the last one. Logic how? xD

#18 True. xD I like giving compliments out to people but I have a hard time accepting them myself, though I've learnt how to accept them much more now than before. We're kind of raised to constantly downplay ourselves so we often say things like 'ah no no' or 'I'm really not that good'. The downside of this of course is that it can come off as somewhat fake. xD

Again from personal experience, that same classmate who made the lowkey racist remark, she was good, she was on the debate team, was a honor student, knew how to mingle with people, but she downplayed herself way too much, while praising me but I honestly thought that she never really meant it from how she treated me. She wanted to keep me around her yet make backhanded compliments at me and she didn't want me socializing with my other classmate who is now my friend. *sigh* It was only after discussing this with one of my roomies did I realize how this 'excessive downplaying' might come off to people like me who more or less grew up with a more 'Westernized' mindset. I'm not saying brag about your achievements but don't be overly humble about them either, which can also be a turn off.

#20 We do tend to be a lot more realistic on how we view things, neither entirely optimistic nor pessimistic. We try to think of things practically and often analyze things on pure logic. A downside of this however, is that Chinese people can be overly practical. Taiwanese for instance don't like to 'find inconveniences' and generally keep to themselves, meaning, they won't help you in your hour of need even when they do have the capabilities. Sounds really harsh I know, but in my 6 years of living in Taiwan, while this doesn't apply to all the people, a lot of them really do only find/talk to you when they need something.

So for some people saying Taiwanese are 'friendly', that's BS xD If you ask me, Filipinos are infinitely more friendly, and again while not all, generally make more of an effort to help you when you need it. I really felt more of a real sense of community during my years growing up in the Philippines compared to Taiwan.

#21 Children do tend to stay with their parents well into college and adulthood, since Chinese families are indeed very family-oriented, in a lot of cases, grandparents often live under the same roof as us as well! And it really does save a lot of money. I see there's a real stigma in the US when it comes to "living with your parents", but that's starting to change especially because of Covid and having more and more people move back in with their parents.

Housing unfortunately is pretty much hella expensive no matter where you go, and Taiwan is no exception. Steep housing prices and the very high cost of raising a child (schooling + buxiban fees, etc.) contribute to a very low birth rate and thus an aging population like Japan. It's not uncommon to see both parents working in Taiwan.

#23 I'm an overthinker myself, but I totally agree with the author that the best is to strike a good balance between these two. Which I guess is why I love drawing or any other related creative attempts, it helps me be more spontaneous or well, creative! I like to remain intellectually or artistically inspired.

#24 Is French high school really like that? xD My friend did watch SKAM France and more or less got a culture shock from what was depicted on the show. I can confirm however that most high schools both in the Philippines and Taiwan require students to wear a uniform, only in college is everybody free to wear casual/civilian clothes.

#26 Ah this is part of our Asian gift-giving etiquette xD We always open gifts later after the event/meeting and in private. Never open them in front of the person who gave it to you or in front of others. This is to prevent any 'shame/embarrassment' that may result both to yourself and to the gift giver. I know this may come off as something weird since some people may want a more honest response or immediate feedback when it comes to gift-giving, but that's just how it is in our culture. You're always free to ask us though (in private) if we liked the gift or not ^^"

#28 I want to say the same goes to drinking, partying, and drugs however xD Those are things which are still frowned upon in our culture. And to be honest, whenever I see those in movies, it does kind of turn me off xD It doesn't mean that we're "uncool" or "boring", we just think that there are much better or healthier ways of "having fun".

#31 Is this true in France?! Man I would kind of prefer that instead of people being on their phones all the time xD This kind of goes with #20 in that Chinese are overly practical or logical, and don't read fiction as much as nonfiction. My Taiwanese friend is an exception though, she's a bibliophile who loves the feel of paper books compared to e-books, and it's a trait of her that I like a lot. Both the Philippines and Taiwan however have a huge fanbase when it comes to manga and anime though.

I'm all for reading outside of "designated reading" at schools especially. Reading fiction improves your vocabulary too, and can be quite fun! It helps you imagine and really invest in a world/story, and if you ask me something that I feel Westerners are better at, they're more in touch with their emotions and creativity, and are thus much more able to write compelling or original stories. Believe me, I've seen a fair amount of Chinese movies that rip off Western movie plotlines xD

#33 Nothing much to add on here..except that since I'm a "weird" person, Mom often jokes that she got the wrong baby from the hospital. xD

#35 True. While I agree with the care and concern that your fellow community can give you, the downside of this is we tend to only hang out with our own people, e.g Chinese with Chinese, Taiwanese with Taiwanese, etc. I've seen too that it's especially hard to make friends in Japan and Korea as a foreigner. Not only is there the language barrier, but the differences in culture too. In a way, Asians can be pretty close-minded on getting to know other cultures or actually making friends with people from other countries. I know this all too well being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, being neither "Filipino" enough nor "Taiwanese" enough. xD It's more of people here being too used to what they're comfortable with.

#36 Oh this is something I feel that Chinese students and other students from similar cultures should really improve on. xD How will people respect you if you don't speak your mind?

I felt bad especially for my Spanish teacher in college, granted it was an introductory course (Spanish I and II) but the amount of times that our teacher had to prompt a student to recite/speak even with clear hints already made her (and me too) extremely frustrated. The thing is, these are college students, I personally feel they don't have any reason to be so shy of speaking and technically by not doing so they're slowing the pace of the class too much and a lot of time is wasted.

Unfortunately you can't always be very vocal with your thoughts and opinions in most Asian cultures. I would say strive for that, but at the same time, play your cards well, especially if you're in a workplace setting.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading and here's a cookie! 🍪 I'm not perfect and there's bound to be something I missed so please let me know if you spotted anything wrong. Feedback/questions are very much welcome and please feel free to share about your country/culture's differences or similarities!

[comedicreliefonlyworkswhenfunny]

I am against the "Americanization" of fandoms.

What this applies to

Holding non American characters (and sometimes even fans) to an American moral standard. This includes

Refusing to take into account that, first things first, America is NOT the target audience, so certain tropes that would or would not pass in the west are different in Japan.

Like seriously, quite a few of the jokes are just not going to pass or hit, because they require background information that is not universal.

Assuming all American experience is standard. (This could mean watering down just how much pressure is placed on Japanese youth irl by saying that sort of thing is universal (while it is, to a degree, Japanese suicide rates are pretty fucking high because of how fast paced and work heavy some of their loads tend to be), and it's really annoying and rude when someone is trying to speak out about how heavy and harsh the standards are placed on them to succeed just for some American whose mom occasionally yells at them to do their homework dropping by to say "it's like that everywhere")

Demonizing (or wubbifying) a character using American morals, including and up to harassing fans over their interpretations or gatekeeping whether or not a character "should" get development (while you shouldn't do that fucking period, it's rude and annoying- this is specifically for the people who use American standards without acknowledging the cultural gap between them and, you know, the fucking target audience) ((Like seriously, saying "It's different in Japan" is not the end all be all excusing someone's actions, but sometimes the author didn't immediately think that maybe (insert vaguely universal thing) was that bad or that heavy of a topic before they put it into their media. If you don't want to see things like that? Pick a different series and stop harassing the fans))

Getting mad at or making fun of Japan's attempts to satirize their own culture. (A good example is Ace Attorney! To most of us, it's just a funny laugh can you imagine if courts were actually like that- guess what? Japan's are! (Not that America's are actually that much better, they just look good on paper))

Making America/American issues the center of your fan spaces

(Usually without sharing or bringing light to the issues that other countries are going through)

Your

Experiences

Are

Not

Univseral!

Seriously, very few things across America, even, are universal. Texas things the hundreds are nothing while Minnesota's like "oh it's only thirty degrees below zero"- so for fucks sake, stop assuming that all other countries work in ways similar to America.

It's good and important to share Ameican issues with your American followers, but guess what? America isn't the only country out there, and it's certainly not the only one going through bullshit. Don't pull shit like "why's no one reblogging this?" or "why should I care about what's happening in (X country)?"

Don't assume everyone lives in America.

Stop assuming everyone lives in America.

America is not and has never been the target audience for anime, and it's certainly not the only country outside of Japan that enjoys it.

Like I said above, sometimes Japan attempts to satirize its own culture. We can't tell what is and isn't meant as satire, because it's not our culture.

Social media activism can be tiring and maybe you don't have the energy to focus on things that are out of your control, but, if someone tells you about the shit they're going through, don't bring American politics up.

For the neurodivergent crowd out there thinking, "But why?" it's because a lot of social media, especially, is very heavily Americanized- sometimes to the point where people assume that everyone is American. Not to mention, it's disheartening. I'm sorry to say, but you're not actually relating to the conversation, you're often diverting the focus away from the topic at hand. Even if you mean well, America is heavily pedestaled and talked about frequently, and people from other countries are tired of America taking precedent over their own issues.

Don't divert non-American issues into American ones. Seriously. It's not your place. Please just support the original issue or move on.

Racist Bullshit

This especially goes for islanders and South Asian characters, as well as poc characters (because, yes, Japan DOES have black people)

Making "funny" racist headcanons. Not fucking cool.

Changing the canon interpretation of an explicit character of color in order to fit racist stereotypes.

Whitewashing or color draining characters. Different artistic skill sets can be hard, yes, but are you seriously going to look at someone and say "I don't feel like accurately portraying you or people that look like you, because it's difficult for me." If someone tries to correct you on your cultural depiction of a character and/or their life style, don't be an ass. (If possible, it would be nice for those that do the corrections to be polite as well, but it does get really frustrating).

Seriously, no offense guys, but, if you want to persue art, you're going to need to learn to depict different body types, skin colors, and/or ethnic features.

On that note, purposefully, willingly, or consistently inaccurately portraying people or characters of color (especially if someone in the fandom has "called you out" or specifically told you that what you're doing comes across as racist and you continue to do it). If you need help or suck at looking things up, there are references for you! Ask your followers if they have tutorials on poc (issue that you're having), whether it be bodily portrayal, facial proportions, or coloring and shading. Art is so much more fun when you can depict a wider variety, and guess what? Before you drew the same skinny, basic, white character over and over, you couldn't even draw that!

Attempting or claiming to DEPECT CULTURAL ACCURACY within a work or meta, while being completely fucking wrong. ESPECIALLY and specifically if someone calls you out, and you refuse to fix, correct, or change anything.

*little side note that the discussion revolving art is a very multilayered conversation, and it has quite a few technical potholes, which I'll bring up again farther into this post.

Fucking history

Stop demonizing or for absolute fucks sake wubbifying Japanese history because UwU Japan ♡0♡ or bringing up shit like "you know they sided with Nazis, right?" It's good to recognize poor past decisions, but literally it's not your country keep your nose out of it. And? A lot of decisions made by countries were not made by their general peoples. Even those that were, often involved heavy propaganda that made them think what they were doing was right.

Seriously, it's not your country, not your history. Unless you have some sort of higher education (but honestly even then a lot of those contain heavy bias), just don't butt in.

^^^ this also goes to all countries that are NOT Japan (specifically when people from non American countries talk about their history while in fandoms and someone wants to Amerisplain to them why "well, actually-"). When we said, "question your sources," we didn't mean "question the people who know better than you, while blindly accepting the (more than likely biased) education you were given in the past."

What this does NOT include:

Fanfiction

FANfiction

FanFICTION

FANFICTION.

Seriously, fanfiction is literally UNPAID WORK from RANDOM FANS- a lot of which who are or have started as kids. ((No, I'm not trying to excuse racist depictions of people just because they're free, please see above where I talk about learning to grow a skill and how it's possible tone bad and get good, on top of the fact that some inaccuracies are not just willful ignorance))

"Looking it up" doesn't work

"Looking it up" almost never works

Please, for fucks sake, you know that most all online search engines are heavily biased, right? Not to mention, not everything is universal across the entirety of Japan. You want to look up how the school system works in Hokkaido? Well it's different from the ones in Osaka!

Most fanfiction is meant to be an idealized version of the world. Homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, ableism, and racism are very prevalent and heavy topics that some fan authors would prefer to avoid. (Keep in mind, this is also used by some people in those minorities often because thinking about how relevant those kinds of things are is to them every day).

A lot of shit that happens in writing is purely because it's an ideal setting. I've seen a few arguments recently about how fan authors portray Japanese schools wrong- listen, I can't tell you how many random school systems I have pulled from my ass purely because (I need them to interact at these points, in these ways). Sometimes the only compliment I can think of is 'I like your shirt' or sometimes I need character A to realize that character B likes the same thing as they do, so I might ignore the fact that most all Japanese schools require uniforms, so that I can put my character in a shirt that will get someone else's attention.

Sometimes it's difficult to find information on different types of systems, and sometimes when you DO know those things, they directly rule out a plot point that needs to happen (like back on the topic of schools (from what I've seen/heard/read- which guess what? Despite being from multiple sources, might still be inaccurate!) Japanese schools don't have mandatory elective classes (outside of like gym and most of them usually learn English or another language- I've seen stuff about art classes? But the information across the board varies.), but, if I need my character to walk in and see someone completely in their element, I'm probably not going to try and gun for accuracy or make up a million and two reasons as to why this (non elective) person would possibly need something from (elective teacher) after school of all things.)

Some experiences ARE universal- or at least overlap American and Japanese norms! Like friends going to fast food places after school doesn't /sound Japanese/ or whatever, but it's not like a horrible inaccuracy to say that your characters ate at McDonald's because they were hungry. Especially when you consider that the Japanese idolization of American "culture" is also a thing.

Also I saw someone complaining about how, in December, a lot of (usually westerners) write Christmas fics! Well, not only are quite a few of those often gift fics, with it being the season if giving and all, but Japanese people do celebrate Christmas! Not as "the birth of Christ," but rather as a popularized holiday about gift giving (also pst: America isn't the only place that celebrates Christmas)

But, on that note, sometimes things like Holidays are "willfully ignorant" of what actually happens (I've made this point several times, but (also this does by no means excuse actual racism)), because, again: plot convenience! Hey what IF they celebrated Halloween by Trick or Treating? What if Easter was a thing and they got to watch their kids or younger siblings crawl around on the ground looking for tiny plastic eggs?

Fanfiction authors can put in hours of work for one or two thousand words- let alone ten thousand words, fifty thousand words, a hundred thousand words. And all of these are free. There is absolutely no (legal) way to make money off of their fanworks, but they spent hours, days, weeks, months- sometimes even years- writing. It is so unnecessary to EXPECT or REQUIRE them to spend even more hours looking up shit that, no offense, almost no one is going to notice. No one is going go care that all of my combini prices are accurate or that I wrote a fic with a Japanese map of a train station that I had to backwards search three times to find an English version that I could read.

Not everyone has the attention span or ability to spend hours of research before writing a single word. Neurodivergent people are literally a thing yall. Instead of producing the perfectly pretty accurate version of Japan that people want to happen, what ACTUALLY happens is that the writer reads and reads and reads and either never finds the information they need or they lose the motivation to write.

^^^ (This does NOT apply to indigenous or native peoples, like Pacific Islanders or tribes that exist in real life. Please make sure that you portray tribal minorities accurately. If you can't find the information you need (assuming that the content of the series is not specifically about a tribe), please just make one up (and for fucks sake, recognize that a lot of what you've been taught about tribal practices, such as shit like human sacrifices or godly worship, is actually just propaganda.)

Not to mention, it often puts a wall in front of readers who would then need to pull up their OWN information (that may or may not be biased) just in order to interact with the fic ((okay, this one has a little bit of arguability when it comes to things like measurements and currency, because Americans don't know what a meter is and no one else knows what a foot is- either way, one of yall is going to have to look up measurements if they want to get a better understanding of the fic)). However, a lot of Americans who do write using 'feet, Fahrenheit, dollars,' also write for their American followers or friends (which really could go both ways).

On a less easily arguable side, most fic readers aren't going to open up a new tab just to search everything that the author has written (re the whole deep topics, not everyone wants to read about those sorts of things, either). Not only are you making it more difficult on the writer, but you're also making it more difficult for the reader who's now wondering why you decided to add in Grandma's Katsudon recipe, and whether or not the details you have added are accurate.

Some series, themselves, ignore Japanese norms! Piercings, hair dye, and incorrectly wearing ones uniform are frowns upon in Japanese schools- sometimes up to inflicting punishment on those students because of it. However, some anime characters still have naturally or dyed blond hair some of them still have piercings or wear their uniforms wrong. Some series aren't set specifically in Japan, but rather in a vague based-off-real-life Japan that's just slightly different (like Haikyuu and all of its different prefectures). Sometimes they're based on real places, but real places that have gone through major changes (like the Hero Academia series with its quirks and shit).

Fandom is not a full time job. Please stop treating it like it is one. Most people in fandoms have to engage in other things like school or work that most definitely take precident over frantically Googling the cultural implications of dying your hair pink in Japan.

Art is also meant to be a creative freedom and is almost always a hobby, so there are a few cracks that tend to spark debate. Like I said, it is still a hobby, something that's meant to be fun (on this note!)

If trying new things and expanding your portfolio is genuinely making you upset, it's okay to take a break from it. You're not going to get it right on the first try and please, please to everyone out there critiquing artists' works, please take this into account before you post things.

I'm sorry to say, but, while it gets frustrating to see the same things done wrong over and over again, some people are genuinely trying. If it matters enough for you to point out, please offer solutions or resources that would possibly help the artist do better (honestly this could be said about a lot of online activism). I get that they should "want" to do better (and maybe they don't and your annoyance towards them is completely justified- again, as I said, if this becomes a repeated offense and they don't listen to or care about the people trying to help them, yeah you can be a bitch if it helps you feel better- just please don't assume that everyone is willfully ignorant of how hurtful/upsetting/annoying a certain way of portraying things is), but also WANTING to do better and ACTUALLY doing better are two different things.

Maybe they didn't realize what they were doing was inaccurate. Maybe they didn't have the right tutorials. Maybe they tried to look it up, but that failed them. Either way, to some- especially neurodivergent artists- just being told that their work is bad or racist or awful isn't going to make them want to search for better resources in order to be more accurate, it's just going to make them give up.

Also! In fic and in writing, no one is going to get it right on the first try. Especially at the stage where we creators ARE merely in fan spaces is a great time to "fuck around and find out", before we bring our willfully or accidentally racist shit into monetized media. Absolutely hold your fan creators to higher standards, but literally fan work has so little actual impact on popular media (and this goes for just about every debate about fan spaces), and constructive criticism as well as routine practice can mean worlds for representation in future media. NOT allowing for mistakes in micro spaces like fandoms is how you get genuinely harmful or just... bad... portrayals of minorities in popularized media that DOES have an impact on the greater public. OR you get a bunch of creators who are too afraid to walk out of their own little bubbles, because what if they get it wrong and everyone turns against them. It's better to just "stick with what they know" (hobbies are something that you are meant to get better at, even if that is a slow road- for all of my writers and artists out there, it does take time, but you will get it. To everyone else, please do speak up about things that are wrong, but don't make it all about what's wrong and please don't be rude. It's frustrating on both ends, so, if you can, please try not to escalate the situation more.)

Anyways, I'm tired of everyone holding fictional characters to American Puritanical standards, but I'm also tired of seeing every "stop Americanizing fandom" somehow loop into fanfiction and how all authors who don't make their fics as accurate as possible are actually just racist and perpetuating or enabling America's take over of the world or some shit.

Fan interpretation of published media is different than fan creation of mon monetized media. Americans dominating or monopolizing spaces meant for all fans (especially in a fandom that was never meant for them to begin with) is annoying and can be harmful sometimes. Americans writing out their own personal experience using random fictional characters (more often than not) isn't.

[dhaaruni]

I think Bernie was trying to play the Long Game with Latinx voters (who his campaign did make significant outreach to)... but those guys don't have the spread that Black voters do, and they're more likely to split for conservatives anyhow (even if you subtract Florida's Cubans).

Yeah, a major part of the issue with Bernie focusing on the Latinx community (and yes I know Latinx is ~contentious but also you used it so I'm following your lead lol) is first of all that Latinx voters are not a monolith. Young Hispanics in Arizona vote very differently than Cubans and Venezuelans in Florida, and one group is much more likely to vote than the other, and it's not the 20-somethings in Arizona.

Debbie Mucarsel-Powell wrote this excellent op-ed about how her district swung from D+16 in 2016 to R+6 and of course, she got raked through the coals for it by leftists. If Democrats can maintain our numbers with Black people and get Hillary Clinton level Latinx support and aim to get Bill Clinton level white support, we'd be unbeatable but that's basically impossible to do at this point in time.

Plus, Bernie may have done well with Latinx voters in Texas in the 2020 primaries but that group swung hard right in the general election not because Biden was too far right but because he was too far left for them! They're virulently anti-choice already since many are devoutly Catholic, and combined with 2020 specific things like COVID-19 lockdowns and the focus on Black Lives Matter (they didn't appreciate the focus on the Black community), they decided Trump was the better option. Plus, non-white voters always swing to the incumbent like Obama 2012 and Bush 2004 and Clinton 1996 all benefited from this trend.

The Latinx community is often also really socially conservative, especially in Texas and Florida, which have two of the largest Latinx populations, and are also extremely leery of socialism. This piece was really eye-opening:

There's also the fact the main issues Bernie focused on with the Latinx community that differentiated him from like, Biden or Pete Buttigieg, namely illegal immigration and things like #AbolishICE (which he actually backed off on when he realized how unpopular it is with even liberals, and annoyed AOC), don't help win over a significant number of people who can actually vote in American elections. Pathways to citizenship seem great in theory but the uncomfortable truth is that people who aren't citizens can't vote in elections, and the people who are most supportive of pathways to citizenship, especially for illegal immigrants, are a) non-citizens, b) donor class white liberals who are well to the left of the Democratic base, and c) activists who are major outliers on every level and I'm not talking Dolores Huerta here, who was a prominent Clinton surrogate.

I think a lot of white liberals really ignore how badly illegal immigration polls, with white people who make up 60.1% of the country but also with legal immigrants who are now American citizens, sometimes a few generations removed. There are a whole lot of Asian and South Asian Americans who vote Democrat solely because the Republican party is racist towards Asian-Americans. These people are often socially indifferent, they don't like taxes, and they don't remotely care if people are racist to Black and Latinx and indigenous populations, they care if their own in-group faces racism! Bush almost won Asian voters in 2004, and he got 44% of the Hispanic vote! These people are all cool with Republicans in power as long as the GOP isn't yelling kung-flu at random Chinese-Americans and calling all Mexicans rapists and not just illegal immigrants, which quite frankly, a lot of people would have been fine with even if they wouldn't admit it online.

But yeah, the simple reason that Bernie doing well with Latinx voters in the primary really doesn't matter is that Biden and Obama did okay with the group despite Obama being the "deporter in chief," and Hillary dominated so clearly mainstream Democrats aren't suffering with the demographic even if Biden underperformed due to socialism among other issues.

And, another key point that nobody who's remotely supportive of illegal immigration (or defunding the police for that matter) was ever in danger of voting Republican in the first place. And, there are a whole lot more Republican-lite, Democrat-amenable voters who are actively turned off by both of those things or at least use them as an excuse to not vote for Democrats, which still results in Democrats not getting their vote and given how hard it is for us to win federal elections, we can't keep losing gettable votes.

If we do the basic cost-benefit analysis, getting Republican-lite, Democrat-amenable voters is more valuable to Dems federally than pandering to activist types because the moderates always vote, even during midterms, and the leftist activist types purity test and yell about Dems earning their vote and there aren't even enough of them to make it worth the effort of catering to them. Even if some leftists stay at home or protest vote over Dems not supporting things that poll underwater, if Dems win moderates and independents (who skew conservative) by a large enough margin, the activist vote is statistically insignificant and Joe Biden for one knows this well.

The reason Bernie-> Stein voters (and Bernie -> Trump voters of course) damaged Hillary so badly in 2016 is that she bombed with white people, especially white men, and it's impossible to win the electoral college while winning 31% of white men even if you get 98% of Black women to vote for you like HRC did. If HRC had Biden's numbers with white men (she even did better with white women and literally every other racial group), she'd have coasted to an easy victory.

Sorry, this got crazy long but I couldn't sleep and I hope it was a good explanation!

[sendme-2hell]

Ranking the books I read in April

aka just ranting about the books I read in april pls ignore me

1. The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson 

I cannot believe this book wasn’t nominated for a Hugo! I like the Hugo list (of the books I’ve read) but cmon. This book is like if you combined the social commentary in The City We Became and the queerness of Harrow the Ninth. Seriously this book had everything I wanted: parallel universes, great character development, social commentary, woc sapphic slow burn, satisfying ending. Also I feel like the title is paying homage to W. E. Dubois which is cool. “Between me and the other world, there is ever an unasked question: How does it feel to be a problem?” Like there is just this very cool idea of talking about other worlds as in literally other universes but also different worlds due to social and racial hierarchies. 

2. Plain Bad Heroines - Emily m. Danforth 

Horror, Hollywood, boarding school, everyone is gay, the narrator talks directly to the reader and it is hilarious, copious footnotes, have I mentioned how many sapphics there are? It’s hard to keep track. Plus polyamory. I just really loved this book and I felt it all came together in a way that was worth it. 

3. Steel Crow Saga - Paul Krueger 

This godamn book. I loved this book so much. I was so ready to yell about it on tumblr and tell people to read it. But apparently the author is someone who has harassed a lot of women so...uh...yeah. Nevermind I guess.

 I do want to say it is the most accurate depicition of a Sherlock Holmes superfan that I have ever seen in media. 

4. The Tiger’s Daughter - K. Arsenault Rivera

What if we went on a long trip on horseback and we were both lesbian warriors...jk unless…

Yeah so I loved this book so much. A lot of it is about navigating familial responsibility, fighting literal and metaphorical demons, fighting the patriarchy, fighting your anger, fighting tigers, etc...and yet I kept thinking to myself “this is the most romantic book I have ever read” and honestly I am gonna stick by that. It also has the “you think me a monster so I will become one” trope which is great. It is set in an Asian-based fantasy world and I did read a goodreads review that said it was as accurate to the countries it draws inspiration from as Leigh Bardugo’s Grishaverse is to the Russian and Scandinavian cultures it takes from. So that’s not great. 

5. Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

Speaking of! A few months ago I tried to read Shadow and Bone in preparation for the tv show and I could not finish it. The writing was...bad. Anyway I really liked Six of Crows and even though, yeah it’s tropey (I’m looking at you, Helnik backstory), there’s a reason those tropes work. Plus you cannot go wrong with a heist. About halfway through I did realize that there are six mcs and three couples so its kinda just like a giant triple date, which really changed how I read the whole story.

I’m very glad I did read it before seeing the tv show because I was able to be appropriately excited for the Crows and catch the Wylan reference and everything, but I also got to see the Alina stuff without having to read about it. 

6. Crooked  Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo 

I think I somehow liked this even more than Six of Crows, but for narrative simplicity I’ll put it after. I really like it when you put people in an impossible situation and see how they figure it out. Especially if they get out in a clever and reasonably possible way that ties together many different plot threads and has a few good fake-outs. This did all of that, and also developed every character in a way I found satisfying (except [redacted] *cry emoji*). 

Kaz pulls a Baru Cormorant with some money stuff and now I wonder if they would be friends. 

I read this after watching the show which was good because I knew who Zoya and Genya were but bad because there is a point where Nina is like “here is how shadow and bone ends.” She’s just talking to Mattias and casually spoiling everything for me. So there goes my dreams of living spoiler free until the end of the show. 

7. The Miseducation of Cameron Post - Emily m Danforth

My expectations for this book were....very different than it turned out, and I’m glad for it. After reading Plain Bad Heroines I shouldn’t have been surprised at how well written it is. I really appreciated how nuanced it is. It doesn’t spell out its ideas or themes and therefore lets you really sit with them. I would rank it higher but I don’t really enjoy reading about high school. 

8. Foundryside - Robert Jackson Bennett

I love a good found family, especially if at the beginning of the book they are on opposing sides. Enemies to friends = best trope! Also it’s sapphic that’s always good. But the best part of this book was the worldbuilding which was so cool. 

9. Malice - Heather Walter

Remember what I was saying about “you think me a monster so I will become one”? This book is the definition of that trope. Women becoming unhinged after being treated like shit, we love to see it! Especially if it’s gay. I do have to say, authors who write duologies where the first book ends on a cliffhanger, I see what you’re doing but yes, I will be preordering the next book. 

10. Fugitive Telemetry - Martha Wells

I don’t have much to say because Murderbot is so consistently excellent.  uh why is it so cathartic when xenophobes disrespect Murderbot and it’s humans step in and shut that shit down. Gets me every single time. 

11. Queen of Coins and Whispers - Helen Corcoran 

This book was like half romance half politics and unfortunately I did not find the politics that interesting or well written. But the romance was A+. It reminded me of Priory of the Orange Tree a LOT. Though significantly less dragons and I’m taking many points off for that. 

12. The First Sister - Linden A. Lewis

I wanted to like this book a little more than I did. There was just maybe too much body horror for me. Interesting characters and world though. There was  a location named Cytherea that they mentioned a lot and it was very distracting. I guess I still have tlt brainrot. 

13. Shorefall - Robert Jackson Bennett 

I think this book was well plotted out but it didn’t quite have my attention like Foundryside did. Also yet another book where a woman’s girlfriend ends up in her head. This time no one had to die so that’s nice. TM and SD take notes! 

14. The Deathless Girls - Kiran Milwood Hargrave 

Ok I LOVED the Mercies by KMH so I was a little disappointed in this Dracula retelling. It got interesting in the last 50 pages, but unfortunately that is not enough for me.

proud of myself for not reading a single straight book this April